


On my own terms

by NekoMorearity



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt No Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28445472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoMorearity/pseuds/NekoMorearity
Summary: Grimmjow has Hanahaki, but he's a cat, so he's going to meet his end on his own terms.
Relationships: Grimmjow Jaegerjaques/Kurosaki Ichigo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28
Collections: GrimmIchi Secret Santa 2020





	On my own terms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheGrimmKitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGrimmKitty/gifts).



> ahhh my first secret Santa! I hope you enjoy it GrimmKitty, I apologize for the angst but I'll make it up to you when I can.
> 
> This is also my first time doing something unbeta, oh I hope it's good.

When Grimmjow saw the red and white petals, he knew that he had to keep this a secret from everyone. They wouldn't let him fight and even worse, try to get him to remove the flowers. He doesn't want those feelings to disappear, they were his and his alone.

'I'm not going to let them take them from me. I rather die.'

Honestly, he has no clue what would happen to him. Hanahaki usually affects the living, killing them if their love is unrequited or their flowers are removed.

He heard rumors about the flowers in Hueco Mundo though, and if they were true, then he would rather go that way.

Grimmjow just needed to prevent anyone from finding out.

Another burst of coughing allowed a few more petals to come out, 

Seeing the flowers come out of him made him...happy. The joy was just overwhelming, he was supposed to be an unfeeling creature of destruction, but here he was, loving the orange-haired shinigami so much to the point of it killing him.

'I hope you will forgive me for my selfish wish… Ichigo.'

* * *

Ichigo couldn’t help but notice Grimm was more on edge than usual. He’s also kept his distance for a while, making himself even harder to contact. Only Nell was able to get a hold of him, but there were times where even she said it was best to leave him alone.

“Times like these, it’s best to give him space.”

“I just wished he kept in touch more often.”

“He’s a cat, it’s what they do.”

“...Alright.”

There was still a sense of dread, but there was nothing he could do. He sadly had to wait and see.

* * *

“They know something’s up. You should just tell them.”

“And let them try to interfere? Fat chance.”

Nell sighed, she tried to convince him to tell the person in question or to seek help, but he refused to even hear anything about it. 

“You know they will try to figure out what’s wrong with you sooner or later.” 

“Well, hope it’s later.”

“This is serious! Why don’t you want them to interfere!”

“I refuse to let these feelings be taken from me!”

“But at the cost of your life?”

The blue-haired Arrancar couldn’t help but smile, much to Nell’s surprise.

“I will choose how I die, besides, the flowers will help me move on.”

“.....I see,” She sighed, he made his mind, and he was at peace with what he decided. Nell just hoped the others accepted it, “I take it you want to become one with Hueco Mundo afterward.”

"Least you could do."

“Of course, I won’t deny you that.”

Grimm smiled and let out a small cough, the petals were now coming out in bigger bunches, but he’s been able to hide it by controlling his breathing and how he coughs. He hides and burns any traces of the flowers, the less people knew the better. Lucky for him, the flowers that came in full were the small white flowers, it was something he could manage.

All he needed now was to wait for another battle.

  
  


* * *

Fate was kind to him, in less than a week, Kurosaki and the others needed help in taking down a few enemies. This was his moment, this was his time to battle. Grimmjow had been slowly hardening his body to get used to the flowers, pushing his limits so he didn’t seem weak. It hurt but it was all worth it to battle again.

By the end of it, he was happy, but he knew his time was about to end. He couldn't heal, the flowers took too much out of him. There’s no way he could hide this now.

At least he was going out the way he wanted to. Grimmjow laughed as he coughed out a small white flower, one that was ignored by the mass confusion brought on by his death. He smiled softly as everything went dark.

Death came at his own terms.

* * *

Ichigo was shocked after he learned Grimmjow Jagerjaquez died after a brutal battle, it wasn't something he expected at all. He usually bounces back just fine, but this time was different and he perished shortly after. It was such a shock to everyone that Urahara decided to autopsy him to see what happened. And that's when he heard it.

Grimmjow had the Hanahaki disease, it progressed to the point that the entirety of his insides were starting to fill up, some even sprouting in his hole. Yet, he didn't tell anyone, he kept to himself and continued to fight. It seemed like he made the choice to not let the flowers kill him, but instead for a battle to take his life.

Ichigo looked at the open body of the dead Arrancar and saw the vines that wrapped around his heart. The inside was filled with red carnations and small green vines with white flowers tangling in his organs.

He couldn't help but feel jealousy over the person who took Grimmjow away. 

* * *

Ichigo was still trying to process his grief by the time they buried the blue-haired Arrancar in Hueco Mundo, he didn't like it but both Nell and Harribel insisted for him to be.

"We may not have funerals like yours, but we believe that the dead here should become one with Hueco Mundo. This is why we fade when it's our time to go."

"Ichigo, I can place him on the dunes."

Nell goes to grab him, but Ichigo refuses, clutching Grimm's body tightly. He didn’t want to let anyone else put him to rest.

"I..I need to do this."

As Ichigo placed the body in the dune and proceeded to bury him, Grimmjow's body started to turn into sand. There was nothing Ichigo could do but hold his hand and cheek as he slowly became one with Hueco Mundo.

"…Goodbye Grimmjow… I wish you loved me."

He removed his hand from his cheek when he felt the mask slip off his face. Now, Grimmjow looked human, almost sleeping as he faded into the sands. Ichigo could swear that he saw him smile as the last of him turned to dust.

After a few minutes, the only thing remaining of Grimmjow was his mask.

“Ichigo, let’s go.”

“Can I take his mask?”

“I don’t think-”

Nell stopped when she saw his pleading eyes, he hasn’t been the same since the autopsy. His eyes have become duller and duller every day. She couldn’t say no, not since she was unable to stop Grimmjow.

“Alright, if that’s what you wish.”

“Thank you Nell.”

“It’s nothing… let’s go.”

Ichigo nodded and allowed Nelliel to escort him home, hopefully, time healed this wound in his heart.

* * *

Beyond the dunes, and deep into the quartz forests of Menos, vines started to climb upon the barren trees. Slowly wrapping themselves around their branches, small white flowers started to bloom. 

**Author's Note:**

> There's more coming to this story, I promise! Meanwhile, enjoy this angsty story.


End file.
